1. If you are still using hotel kitchens for catering instead of food trucks, congratulations your time machine is working!

2. Crudités over street eats, really? It may be time for a mobile cuisine intervention.

3. Your cowboy steak was cooked four hours ago in the kitchen on the other side of town. Your tacos and sliders were cooked to order and served straight from the truck. Your pick.

4. We spend money on high quality ingredients, not on fancy venues and menus that look like modern art. And just a little bit on tattoos.

5. The Brother may be a Trucker, but he’s a top chef and he’ll out chop any of them in a throwdown (even those Brits who throw things around).

6. How much food can food trucks truck if food trucks could truck food? As much as you need, no event too large. If one’s not enough for you, we can fix that.

7. Ever heard of ‘Trucks Without Borders’? We’vegot chefs from around the world with international offerings that will satisfy even the most adventurous foodie. Kazakh manti anyone?

8. The kitchen will come to you. We’ll follow you wherever you go. Underwater weddings excluded until we get that waterproof thing down.

9. We’ll serve food to you from the side of the truck, set up a buffet-style or do the white cloth thing. We just don’t do schandileers, mostly because nobody here can spell it.

10. In thirty years, you’ll be telling your children you were a visionary of food truck catering. They’ll think you’re really cool and might ask to see your tattoos again.